Saturday, February 19, 2011

The Art of the False Comparison; or, Why Freddy Got Fingered is Better Than Touch of Evil



A friend, who does not much care for about 90% of the films on my 2010 Top Ten List, noticed my reference in said list to the fact that I’m not too keen on many Alain Resnais films, and asked me if that means I prefer The Prestige over Last Year at Marienbad. The answer to that question is: Well, yes, since I really like – nay, love -- The Prestige but do not much “like” Marienbad (which I’ve actually seen a couple of times). But it also reminded me of a recent episode wherein Movie Nerd Friend A called out Movie Nerd Friend B for giving The Breakfast Club a higher grade than The Godfather Part II.* Which got me thinking about false comparisons…

We all know how false comparisons work. Everybody has a number of movies they like that (most, or many) other people don’t. And everybody also has a number of movies they don’t like that (most, or many) other people do. So you just compare films from the first category to films from the second category (even if they have absolutely nothing to do with one another) and watch the outrage pour forth. You can maximize the outrage if you also make sure that the films from the second category are widely-acknowledged classics. (I realize that Armond White kind of does this with his annual “Better Than” list, though he confines it to new movies.)

So, anyway, here are a few personal false comparisons that come to mind. Would love to hear other people's personal favorites, if anyone feels like sharing.


I think Resident Evil is better than The Maltese Falcon.

I think Blue Crush is better than The Sting.

I think Stephen Sommers’s The Mummy is better than Howard Hawks’s Twentieth Century.

I think Joy Ride is better than Hiroshima, Mon Amour.

I think Ishtar is better than The Bitter Tears of Petra von Kant.

I think Sorority Boys is better than American Beauty.

I think I Love You, Man is better than Andrei Tarkovsky’s Solaris.

…and, yes:

I think Freddy Got Fingered is better than Touch of Evil.


* I should note that Movie Nerd Friend B really likes the first Godfather, and he mostly likes Part II, though he has a lot of problems with it. And he recognizes that in terms of ambition and reach and historical importance and all that, it’s a more significant film than The Breakfast Club. It’s just that he thinks The Breakfast Club is a more successful film for what it’s trying to be. Or…better, if you want to put it that way. (I guess I should also note that I disagree pretty vehemently with Movie Nerd Friend B.)



19 comments:

  1. That phrase "for what it's trying to be" nails it for me as to whether a film is successful or not. Each film has to be seen in its relative context.

    That's exactly why I love Blue Crush too

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  2. BLUE CRUSH is awesome. For starters, the three female leads are terrific, and terrifically likable. And John Stockwell is a very underrated director.

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  3. For what it's worth I usually disagree 100% with those film pronunciamentos by your "facebook friend"; and I'm with you on liking 70% of your top ten (and we share #1!) I'm also not taking sides between Movie Nerd Friends A & B, as much as I respect both of them. I also think AVATAR is better than LA STRADA.

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  4. AVATAR is better than a lot of things. Not sure about LA STRADA, but I'd go for "better than PICKPOCKET."

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  5. This is kinda fun:

    I think Malibu's Most Wanted is better than All the King's Men.

    I think Cloverfield is better than Last Tango in Paris.

    I think My Super Ex-Girlfriend is better than Mystic River.

    I think Elektra is better than A History of Violence.

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  6. I think that Burlesque is better than North by Northwest.

    Also, Jumper is better than The Bridges of Madison County.

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  7. These are great. Ken, BURLESQUE vs. NBNW? Wow. The mind reels.

    Keep 'em coming. If people continue posting their false comparisons, I'll do a post with my favorite selections.

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  8. I think Empire Records is better than It's A Wonderful Life.
    I think Drop Dead Gorgeous is better than West Side Story.
    I think Dick is better than Gladiator.

    And MOST importantly...
    I think Grease 2 is better than 2001: A Space Odyssey.

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  9. Sugar Hill is better than The Conversation

    Australia (yes, that one) is better than Bringing Up Baby

    Transporter 2 is better than The Graduate

    Transporter 3 is better than Fargo

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  10. I think Transformers 3 is going to be the greatest movie ever made...better even than All About Eve.

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  11. OUT COLD > CHINATOWN

    EVENT HORIZON > ANDREI RUBLEV

    CAN'T HARDLY WAIT > EASY RIDER

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  12. SUPER MARIO BROS. THE MOVIE > IN THE CITY OF SYLVIA

    FUTURE COPS > WILD AT HEART

    VAMPIRES > DEATH PROOF

    BARRY LYNDON > BLAIR WITCH 2

    MR. BEAN'S HOLIDAY > ANTICHRIST

    BATS > 28 WEEKS LATER

    BATS is also > both Paul Greengrass-directed Bourne movies

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  13. Wait, did you mean to say BLAIR WITCH 2 > BARRY LYNDON? (I really, really hope you didn't, but in this context that would make more sense...)

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  14. PIRANHA 3-D >>>> CITIZEN KANE

    I second the ELEKTRA > A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE comment

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  15. DUDE, WHERE'S MY CAR? is better than KING KONG(1933)

    LEGALLY BLONDE is better than THE LAST EMPEROR

    DEMOLITION MAN is better than MR. HULOT'S HOLIDAY

    SAW is better than PLAYTIME

    TIMECOP is better than TWO LANE BLACKTOP

    POOTIE TANG is better than HIGH NOON

    DICKIE ROBERTS: FORMER CHILD STAR is better than BRINGING UP BABY

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  16. INNERSPACE is better than CASABLANCA

    SHAOLIN SOCCER is better than THE GODFATHER

    BE KIND REWIND is better than NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN

    JOHN CARPENTER'S PRINCE OF DARKNESS is better than BREATHLESS

    ZARDOZ is better than TAXI DRIVER

    TRON is better than THE WILD BUNCH

    and above all:
    CATCH-22 is better than M.A.S.H.
    and
    FAIL-SAFE is better than DR. STRANGELOVE

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  17. North is better than Apocalypse Now (that one's for Ebert, it would probably make his head explode)

    Plan 9 From Outer Space is better than The Seven Samurai

    Elektra is better than Breathless

    The Avengers is better than Shoah

    And Catch-22 is most definitely better than MASH, futurefree

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  18. Of course, comparing CATCH 22 to MASH isn't exactly a false comparison, since the two films obviously have many elements in common.

    I mean, it's a valid comparison (albeit an insane conclusion). Same goes for FAIL SAFE vs. STRANGELOVE.

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  19. True; CATCH-22 is constantly compared to M.A.S.H. & found wanting (largely because they came out in the same year); likewise FAIL-SAFE & STRANGELOVE. So I did go totally off-topic there; it just kinda slipped out.

    (I should admit I love FAIL-SAFE and STRANGELOVE, and only slightly prefer the former. Whereas M.A.S.H. remains one of the most puzzingly overrated movies I've ever seen.)

    p.s. BATTLEFIELD EARTH is better than COOL HAND LUKE

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